Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
