Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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