I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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