So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
