Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
no you cant smoke seaweed
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
