Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
