What a fucking waste of an outfit
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
