Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
