SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
