I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This is my gift to your gina
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
