Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
