I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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