you guys were way drunker than both of me
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
