Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
