I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
