Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
