ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I party with great urgency now.
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