can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
