what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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