VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
