Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
