i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
