Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
BRING THE BAGELS
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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