I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
