he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
