At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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