Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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