Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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