He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
