If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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