i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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