I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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