laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
