Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Boobs are out for the taking
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
