Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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