I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
