ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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