I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
