Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
