Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
