yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
