dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just forgot I was standing up.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
