Define "chronic" masturbator.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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