you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
