I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
