im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Is it because I queefed?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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