I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
