he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
