Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
