i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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