we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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