Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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