Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
