Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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